An idea for a vampire story?

-If a vampire story is well written and doesn't fall into too many cliches do you think it could be good? I've had an idea.



The vampire ends up killing the main character after drinking from her for months.



Anyone main character '1' is one of the few survivors when her town is attacked by vampires. The other survivors leave her because they don't know that she survived. She ends up being found by some rebels (vampires are in power, rebels are fighting them) and they take her to their base.



She basically cooks and cleans and helps out in any way she can and makes friends with one of the younger boys (early 20's) they become friends and he says that she needs to be able to fight and he teaches her after she's finished her jobs. She's not a bad fighter and really enjoys is as it's something different to cleaning all day and she gets to spend time with her friend.



When she's pretty good the boy says she should come to one of the rebels fighting classes (they teach their people how to fight in the grounds of the place they're staying) and she does, she's pretty good and beats a few of the weaker people and the head of training takes her on and trains her all day every day because he thinks she's hot and also because she doesn't look like a threat so she can infiltrate for him.



Eventually she's taken with a small group (3/4/5) people to find something (not sure what it is yet, suggestions welcome) and they find a half vampire along the way. They take the half vampire girl with them back to the place they're staying and keep her locked in the dungeons, '1' has the job of feeding her (sheep blood) everyday and slowly '1' and the vampire become friends.





Stuff happens, after obvs



But so far is this okay? I want honest opinions and ideas. It's just a lose idea at the moment.Coming from a young writer, your ideas sound great. I usually get a few ideas together and just start writing. You'd be very surprised at what comes to you right on the spot. As for the part where they're going off to find something, it could be medical supplies. It'd be an interesting twist if someone had gotten injured or, better yet, if they've gotten bitten and they want to try to save that person. There could be an antidote of some sort to heal him/her and they've got to go find it. Well, I hope my answer helps and good luck on your vampire story!hmmm this sounds fine...but killing the main character? i think if you do that alot of people are going to hate you. you can't just build a character-one that throughout the story people come to love and respect -and just kill them...and if you do this you won't be able to write a sequel(unless you kill her after many books-but I think people will be more angry about) but with the story I think it perfect-not to many cliches. Good luck!|||i will be really honest: I couldnt just read more when i knew it was about vampire or drinking blood. Try to create a fascinating species, thats what they did on "avatar". No offense, i mean, its not like im right, i can be absolutely wrong, but its just so a opinion so dont take this very serius ok ? (my comment)

I just thought i could say how i feel after i read it. I just...dont like it.|||I think it is a good beginning as a loose plan, and doesn't have any cliches really. I have read a lot of vampire books and I think this is different and I would continue reading it, because it's not the same change into vampire/ fall in love with vampire to someone getting killed a big fight someone wins which I am finding now. I would really like to read the main plot and some names zoey shanee stark Brooke heath or names that mean something in different languages like Greek

Hope I helped|||In total honesty, I can't say that I would read it. I mean, sure it's not completely cliched with the EVENTS, but really, vampires are so over-worked just the word makes me want to bash my head against a wall. I, along with a lot of people, wouldn't pick it up simply because it has the "v" word in it. Sorry.|||I think vampires are a bit overdone but that's because they're popular right now. If you have an idea go for it. You don't need anybody's permission to write a story so go for it! You can always reshape your idea to make it want you really want but don't rely on everyone online to give you the yes or no.



Happy writing!!